Off-topic: To be or not to be (single)?
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  1. #1
    Tech Wizard
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    Default Off-topic: To be or not to be (single)?

    Over the holidays it has been pretty lonely, i mean sure it's good to be single, and theres lots of parties with lots of single girls, and you are free to do anything with them (or to them). It's true however that you should "always have a relationship to see you through the holidays" (from Alfie).
    With going to university full time and trying to get my marks to continue into graduate school and get my Masters, then theres music and DJ-ing, which is a vacuum for time and energy (i often have trouble sleeping when I read new reviews and news for gear i am looking at buying, im just too excited), then theres my part-time job bartending. I have all the oppurtunities to meet girls be it in school, my work, or parties i dj (or bartend) at. I don't have a second of time to spare though, i am chronically sleep deprived and out of energy to even call the numbers i've got from girls over the week.
    A lot of you guys are in the same boat as me, how do you deal with this? It would be useful reference or at least a source of entertainment for me.

  2. #2
    Tech Guru
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    find a girlfriend who is also chronically sleep deprived and learn to spend nights with her, during the initial few months of dating someone you have to spend alot of time, but things get easier (easier time wise) with time.

  3. #3
    Tech Wizard P-Phunk's Avatar
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    I have a bad habit of getting to my GF's apartment and just falling asleep on the couch while she is finishing work, then to wake up @ 2AM in the bed not knowing how I got there.

    It's really tough being a university Student, a Soldier AND a good boyfriend (plus a extra curricular music program and managing the campus "bar"...).

    Sometimes I will have to give up going to see her for a weekend just so that I can catch-up on things or get a head start on next week's work so that I can stay the whole time with her. It's really hard, but I found myself a keeper, so I deal with it.

    Biggest thing is that you are going to HAVE to search and play the field until you find one that you KNOW for sure is a keeper (not think). If she is not able to understand your situation and work with it (around it) WITH YOU, then toss her and keep looking. It took me 2 years of this before I found one that accepted and loves everything I am (quite a bastard mix) and I cant tell you how rewarding it is right now.
    ~MacBook 2.4 GHz | Pacemaker 666 | Traktor Pro | Ableton Live 7~
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  4. #4
    Tech Guru Monika.mhz's Avatar
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    Dating is really the last thing on my mind as a musician. I have too many other things to focus on. It really frustrates potential dates.

    I spend so much time in the studio, my build room (yay for soldering irons and power tools), or just out at the clubs that most people wouldn't be able to handle that sort of thing even if we were dating.

    In the last 13 years of being a DJ, I've only dated 3 people, and I've spent the last 5 years alone.

    Does it suck sometimes? Sure. But that's the life I lead. I just hold down hope that I'll find that person someday. Right now I focus on what's really important.

    ---
    Although things could be a bit different for a woman in the industry. *shrugs*
    Monika.mhz - I do things. Also stuff.
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  5. #5
    Tech Wizard
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    TK1129 i'm so glad you brought this up as it's something that affects me also that i have always wondered how many other it plays on. I think it is a catch 22. You can spend your minimal spare time with someone and enjoy it although it may be more prone to arguments over not spending enough time with them. Otherwise you can enjoy your lifestyle and live it to the fullest and not worry about girls so much as not to be rude but most of them tend to be a pain in the ass in our lifestyle as they just don't interpret what we do and why we do it. I personally juggle a fulltime job (50minimum to 88hrs a week 12.5 hr shifts) alongside that i'm either djing the club or working on their gear to bring it up to scratch. I then have to fit in band practice when the other members are off shift regardless where i am at as i hold things together. Meanwhile whenever i can push part of my schedule aside i try to operate my car detailing business which is running backwards lol. What gets me is my family and close friends fully understand why i am doing this, basically throwing myself into everything i can trying to make and extra buck or a break. But my ex of 4 years couldnt understand this even before i had so much on and although i meet a lot of girls they only see me as the dj because i am always to busy behind the scenes making the party better for them.

    So at the end of the day i don't think i personally can honestly answer your question but more share my personal experience as we can feel understood in this community which is more than what we are likely to get unless we can find the perfect girl as P-Phunk has been lucky enough to. The only other thing i can personally say is god damn there are some strange ones out there though so when you do find her hold on to her but don't let her abuse the privelage that we offer as decent and caring men that seems to get us shot in the toe time and time again!

  6. #6
    DJTT Dominator JesC's Avatar
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    I would say if your single keep it that way.

    You are a dj, and dj-ing is your mate.

    You eat, shit, sleep...thinking about djing. You spend all your disposable money on "her". Girls will always be attracted to djs like nice purses. You are the life of the party, and girls always love the attention they get they say "Im with the DJ"

    (BTW Mr JesC is married 7yrs & have 4 kids & been dj since '92)
    Controllerist: Think different | SoundCloud | MixCloud | Twitter |

  7. #7
    Tech Guru Monika.mhz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JesC View Post
    Girls will always be attracted to djs like nice purses. You are the life of the party, and girls always love the attention they get they say "Im with the DJ"
    Yeah, the ones you DON'T want. God...I'm so tired of those girls. (Because they love to talk to me...like I'm some sort of gateway into the male DJ's pants....ugh) Trust me, it's best to find the girl who couldn't give two SHITS about how awesome of a DJ you are. You want her to like you for you.

    If any girl thinks of a DJ like just another shiny purse, she probably doesn't have much upstairs anyway.

    damn...women like that give the rest of us a bad name.
    Monika.mhz - I do things. Also stuff.
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  8. #8
    Tech Wizard
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    Or if your lucky enough you could find a dj of the opposite sex and be able to enjoy the lifestyle together. Learn from eachother, do sets together, and both be able to say "i'm with the DJ" (sarcasm) lol

  9. #9
    Tech Wizard
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    RSDJMoniker, you bring up a good point. I don't even take girls i meet at parties or clubs seriously, especially if i am dj-ing or helping the dj.
    DJ Coight - wishful thinking. Finding another girl dj would mean you guys only see each other when yur playing at the same club LOL.
    It's hard enough making normal relationships last, but it seems most guys here understand perfectly what its like to juggle so many things.
    Most people would never look at the DJ and think: i wonder if he is lonely sometimes?
    Stupid stereotypes

  10. #10
    Tech Wizard Yeti's Avatar
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    Do what you think is right for you. Ive dated one girl in my life. I keep several friends with benefits and thats worked fine for me. Yeah it does suck around the holidays but it frees you up from all the drama and strain. You can party with the girls all you want and if the mood strikes go ahead and get your freak on. The next morning you guys go back to the daily routine till the next time. Im sure Ill calm down and settle sooner or later but Ive still got some time to play with. If the right girl happends to come along and we can manage time, work and play well together Im not opposed to dating. I havent found a girl that can adapt.

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