(OT - Need Advice)
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  1. #1
    DJTT Scribe Mod smiTTTen's Avatar
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    Default (OT - Need Advice)

    Dear Runners,

    Within the next 12 months I am going to be the most famous runner the world has ever known. In order to reach this pre-ordained goal I may need some help, so I hope you don’t mind if this “noob” asks a few questions.

    I have never run before and need some advice on how to do it. I walk swiftly on a regular basis and have seen loads of people running over the years so I know it’s not difficult or anything, I just need some help determining stuff like foot placement. Some people have suggested that I first try “jogging” but I am sure they only say that because they don’t know anything about running. So how do you all run? What’s THE SECRET?

    I know I will master running within minutes of trying it out but I am not clear on where I should be running to. No doubt professional runners are told where to go but in the months between now and then, I might need some ‘direction’ (lol). Did I also mention that I’m funny? Anyway, which direction do you run in? I have seen some people go left and others go right and I was thinking about combining them by going left and right at the same time. Have any of you tried that? My friends are always telling me that I have crazy ideas that end up being awesome. I know this will be awesome too.

    I know I need a $600 pair of professional running shoes but I only have $14.87 in my bank account. Can someone recommend a pair of professional (like REAL professional) running shoes for less than $14? They need to be easy to use, make me run really fast and most importantly, look AWESOME. If anyone lives in my area and would be willing to come round and help me install these bad boys on my feet – that would be AWESOME too – thanks.

    My Dad told me that he would buy me a Taco Bell Franchise and a Toyota Yaris if I won a gold medal at the next Olympics. HA! The sucker didn’t even specify which event so I’m going to totally win at some of them (if not all of them). On that subject, can someone send me a link to where I can download the form to enter the Olympics?

    I’m running out of time now (again – lol) but I will be posting pictures and maybe some video of me doing my professional running soon. Would be great to get some feedback and if any of you know one of those famous running guys, please send them my videos so they can ask me to play on their running team.

    Thanks!

    Sprinty McFaster
    Beats By Dre is like audio flu for your balls.

  2. #2
    DJTT Tankard fullenglishpint's Avatar
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    teehee.
    TSP 2 | Serato DJ | Live 8 | MBP (SSD + HDD) | AIAIA TMA-1 Fool's Gold Edition | 1200 Mk2s | MidiFighter | KRK RP5
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  3. #3
    Tech Guru 3heads's Avatar
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    Hahaha, post of the month
    13,3" MacBookPro (Mid 2012) # 2x Technics 1210 # NI Audio 8 DJ # Ecler Nuo 2.0 # NI Traktor Kontrol X1 # Sennheiser HD-25
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  4. #4
    Tech Guru zestoi's Avatar
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    go for gold
    11mba / 13mbp / tsp2 / live9 / audio10 / 2x reloop rp7000gold / 2x xdj1000 / 2x d2
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  5. #5
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    I was a long distance back in the day... Heres tips, get nice comfy running shoes, and u take left leg move forward and put weight onto it followed by right leg and repeat...
    *Samsung rv 511, 8gb ram, core i5 processor* *Samsung netbook 2gb ram* *Traktor pro 2* *Traktor s4* *midi fighter spectra* *audio technica ath-m50x* *m audio trigger finger pro* *ableton* *fl studio* and a load of other random bits and pieces.... plus I like bacon yo.

  6. #6
    Tech Mentor
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    Your best bet is to approach a runner and ask for a copy of the location of all their favourite running tracks, to save you the time and effort of finding your own.

    I want the bitches!

  7. #7
    Über Tech Guru Ed Paris's Avatar
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    I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
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  8. #8
    Tech Guru JonathanBlake's Avatar
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    Dear Mr. McFarter (I don't spell so good),
    I am retiring. With the awesome talent that you have, my career as a jogger is clearly over. I have a pair of Reeboks (you know the ones with a little tick on the side) that I will sell you for $13.99. My podiatrist says that if you swab them and grow the effluent in a petri dish you could perfect germ warfare. Progressing to a runner from a jogger is quite simple - play some Dub-Step on your iPod - you'll want to get away from the noise so bad, you will accelerate into a sprint (if that doesn't work, you can try some Deadmau5). Foot placement is crucial - ALWAYS put the one foot in front of the other. Always run north or south - if you run east or west you will fall off the edge of the world. The Yaris is such a nice little jam-jar - especially in yellow, but you would do better with a KFC franchise. Colonel Sanders is such a nice chap. Remember that if you want to win the sprint events you will need steroids. Your testicles will shrink, but the babes dig biceps. Attached, please find my entry form for London. I clearly have no chance anymore.
    Good luck.
    May the force be with you.
    356 reasons why

  9. #9
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    step one:

    be a cheetah.

    step two:

    maul all the other competitors with your claws and fangs.

    step three:

    get shot by poachers for your valuable poka dot fur.

    step four:

    go down in history as the baddest motherfucking runner of all time.

  10. #10
    Tech Guru JonathanBlake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by duerr View Post
    step one: be a cheetah.
    step three:
    get shot by poachers for your valuable poka dot fur.

    Because there are people in the world that think rhino horn helps sustain an erection, rhinos' are more valuable than polka dots.
    356 reasons why

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