Blade remix aka Confusion

[Lambox]

Okay so I worked more on this song, and I gotta be honest, I'm really excited about the way it's turning out. It's about a minute long now, and I added some variety in drum loops, another synth, and some other fun stuff.

http://www17.zippyshare.com/v/11542765/file.html

More feedback would be lovely.

Also if anyone would like to work on this with me I'd be more than happy to try to work something out.

[WDPK837]

Hey, bud. Don't apologize for anything. You asked for a critique I know it's a sketch of a track, so keep it up... Critique number 2 follows however....

The second synth doesn't make any sense to me. Sounds "circusy," and loses a lot of menace from the original track. Here, I'll post the original (the one they used in Blade), and see if it helps you vibe off it any.

http://wdpk837.whoisbenhustis.com/au...ructionmix.mp3 (Warning... 22 megs. Files only posted for evaluation purposes and so on)

That being said, I would lose my mind for the breakdown at the very end of the demo.

[Lambox]

Thanks for the feedback. I can't download the song at the moment, I should be able to tomorrow afternoon.

And I know, you ever feel really excited about something and then come back to it later and it's just sort of mediocre? That's pretty much where I'm sitting with this whole project.

But either way, what about the synth sounds "circusy"? The actual sound of the synth? The melody? Both?

Thanks