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  1. #1

    Default Top ten things you should never say to a DJ

    Top ten things you should never say to a DJ: (add your own things also)

    1. PLAY SOMETHING GOOD...SOMETHING WE CAN DANCE TO !
    The DJ has to play for more than one person...so what you hate may be another's favorite song and EVERYTHING played here can be danced to one way or another.

    2. WOULD YOU PLAY SOMETHING WITH A "BEAT" !
    BE SERIOUS! We know of NO songs played in a club that don't have some sort of BEAT!

    3. I DON'T KNOW WHO SINGS IT AND I DON'T KNOW THE NAME OF THE SONG, BUT IT GOES LIKE THIS....
    PLEASE don't sing for the DJ. They have to put up with smoke filled rooms and dangerous decibel levels all night long...Do them a favor and DON'T give them a rendition of your favorite song.

    4. EVERYBODY WANTS TO HEAR IT !
    Oh, sure... you polled everyone in the club and, as their spokesperson, you're requesting the song.

    5. EVERYBODY WILL DANCE IF YOU PLAY IT !
    The DJ won't. I guess that blows a hole in that theory!

    6. I CAN GET LAID IF YOU PLAY IT !
    Why settle for one night? Buy the album and get laid for a whole month!

    7. I WANT TO HEAR IT NEXT !
    The ONLY people who can get away with that statement write the DJ's paycheck!

    8. WHAT DO YOU HAVE ?
    It's a lot easier for you to go have another beer and figure out what you want to hear than it is for the DJ to recite the name of every record in the booth!

    9. HEY, MAN, NOBODY CAN DANCE TO THIS !
    It's NOT advisable to say this when the dance floor is packed (but some people do anyway) ! HOWEVER, even if there is only ONE person on the floor, it STILL contradicts the statement!

    10. PLAY IT SOON, BECAUSE WE'RE LEAVING !
    If your gonna leave after he plays it, why shouldn't he wait till the very last song so you stay all night!

    SOME ASSORTED THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A DJ:
    1. If you ask for a song and the DJ says he just played it, DON’T SAY "Well I just got here." It makes absolutely no difference.

    2. DON’T SAY "Is this the only music you play?" If you go to a Chinese restaurant, you wouldn’t ask for Italian food.

    3. If you ask for a song...BE SPECIFIC. DON’T SAY "I wanna hear something....anything but this!" Try going to the bar and saying,
    "I wanna drink something....anything but this..." You can’t complain if you're not SPECIFIC.

    4. HOWEVER, if you are specific and the DJ says he doesn’t have that song, DON’T SAY "What!?!? What do you mean you don’t have it? what kind of DJ are you? HE MAY SHOOT YOU!!!!!

    5. SPECIAL NOTE! A night club DJ gets very little RESPECT. They are expected to play everything for everybody. It is impossible to satisfy all of the people all of the time, yet club DJs are expected to do just that. If a radio DJ tells his listeners a song is a hit, the majority of the people figure it must be "Because they say so on the radio." However 80% of the time that same song was being played in a club long before radio DISCOVERED the NEW song.

    So give the DJ a break! The next time you request a song, stop and THINK before you speak.

    And above all....if the DJ has one hand on the mixing board, one hand on the turntable, and the headphones on....Don’t bug him

    ....HE’S MIXING!!!!
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  2. #2
    Tech Guru SirReal's Avatar
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    Can you play that song that goes, "Ooontz, Oontz, Oootz, Ooontz"?
    "Walking the fine line between Stupidity and Genious" Latest Mix: Downtempo set FnF2013----My Mixcloud
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  3. #3

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    im sure we thought of and said many of these in our time

    EDIT: this would make a cool poster to have stuck up beside a dj booth and then when people come up bugging you all you got to do is point to the poster and carry on as you were

    1. The song you are requesting is being played.
    2. You ask for a song that nobody will dance to.
    3. You tell the DJ he sucks just because he won't play your song.
    4. The only songs you know are line dances.
    5. You want to hear every song by Britney Spears and Lady Gaga.
    6. You complain that no one likes the song when the dance floor is full.
    7. You think reserving a table turns the DJ into your own jukebox.
    8. You ask to sing on the microphone like it's karaoke night.
    9. You want to hear your song next or your leaving.
    10. You declare that you just got to the club so the DJ should play all the hits just for you.
    11. Your sad face does not move the DJ into feeling sorry for you and playing your request.
    12. You have no concept that the DJ accepts tips.
    13. You come to the booth and ask the DJ if he is the DJ.
    14. You ask the DJ if he plays any good music.
    15. Your requests aren't any where near the format the DJ plays.
    16. You demand to hear your song because you are about to leave.
    17. When we say we dont play a genre, you ask for more of that genre.
    18. You keep asking what song is next.
    19. You want to look at every song we have.
    20. You don't dance to your request, then ask for more.
    21. You think the dance floor is a portrait studio.
    22. You make silly poses at the DJ like you are DJing.
    23. You are part of a bachelorette party.
    24. You grab or touch equipment while the DJ is playing.
    25. You are so drunk you think the DJ booth is the bar.
    26. You stay buy the DJ booth hoping to pick up women.
    27. You keep trying to tell the DJ your life story while we are mixing.
    28. You think you know what everyone wants to hear.
    29. You ask for a song to be played again 5 minutes after hearing it.
    30. You say you know the owner/manager in an attempt to get a song played.
    31. You ask for the same song everytime you are there.
    32. You take pictures of the DJ without warning him of the flash.
    33. Your so drunk you keep falling into the DJ booth.
    34. You spill a drink on the DJ equipment.
    35. You ask that the volume be turned down.
    36. You keep trying to get the DJ to dance with you.
    37. You tell the DJ what songs go together that don't go together.
    38. You stand by the DJ and stare awkwardly.
    39. You think it's cool to just stand on the dancefloor and text.
    40. You have to talk louder than the music by the DJ booth.
    41. You think the DJ booth is a coat check.
    42. You offer to tip but never do.
    43. You run ladies off the dance floor.
    44. You wear so much cologne/perfume the DJ's eyes water.
    45. You ask us to play songs off your phone or download them.
    46. You keep asking for a shout out all night long.
    47. You want us to play a song you made.
    48. You act like the DJ is your boyfriend when he is not.
    49. You try to sing or hum the song you want to hear.
    50. Instead of asking for a song you stick a phone in our face to show us.
    51. You don't know the song just the number on the CD.
    52. You get all of your friends to ask for the same song that we won't play.
    53. You interrupt the DJ to get him to take your picture.
    54. Your idea of good music isn't.
    55. You think old school means 5 year ago.
    56. You ask when do we start to playing something crunk.
    57. When you hear a slow jam you think it's a signal to hump women like a dog.
    58. If it isn't hip hop you just call it techno.
    59. You keep asking for requests after the club closes.
    60. You know the DJ and text him requests to get you in the door.
    61. You know the DJ is working and you call over and over expecting an answer.
    62. You ask for a song and stay at the booth until the DJ plays it.
    63. You fart by the DJ booth.
    64. You want something faster but are requesting something slower.
    65. You keep trying to fist bump and high five the DJ.
    66. You say the other DJ always plays your song when there is no other DJ.
    67. You act worse than a 5 year old in the club.
    68. You say you are spending a ton of money and we should play your songs regardless.
    69. You want an in-depth explanation on how the equipment works.
    70. Your requests are more like demands.
    71. You vomit in or around the DJ booth.
    72. You tell the DJ how bad the song playing is , then request an even worse one.
    73. You ask the DJ to play something with a beat.
    74. You threaten to get the manager to make you play a song.
    75. Your song was played but you want it again because you were in the bathroom.
    76. You think booty shaking music is just any hip hop song.
    77. You make up a birthday so you can hear you or your friends name on the mic.
    78. You give the DJ a napkin filled with requests and no tip.
    79. You complain that the DJ DID play your song.
    80. You hug and kiss the DJ and leave with some other guy.
    81. You think after a DJ plays your song that he will play every song you want.
    82. You ask for a song all night then you leave in the middle of it.
    83. You want people to move off the floor so you can dance like a jackass.
    84. You ask the DJ to hand out flyers to another club.
    85. You tell the DJ his job is becoming obsolete because of ipods.
    86. You tell the DJ that they quit making vinyl and his job will vanish.
    87. You say you have a huge group there wanting a song when you only have 3 people.
    88. You tell the DJ that you DJ too, when we ask where, you say your bedroom.
    89. When you ask the DJ if he takes requests, then you have no clue what you want.
    90. You run around the club telling people you are the DJ.
    91. You think knowing the DJ is sure to get songs played for people you know.
    92. You think dry humping the DJ is sexy.
    93. You keep asking if you can try and spin.
    94. You keep stomping on the floor just to get attention.
    95. You still think it's cool to use your phone on the dance floor.
    96. You spend more time updating your status online than dancing.
    97. You ask the DJ to play something dirty.
    98. You ask the DJ to play something you can dance to.
    99. You throw up gang signs having no idea what they mean.
    100. You are way too drunk.
    Last edited by IrishBlaggard; 01-09-2012 at 01:53 AM.
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  4. #4
    Tech Guru Steve Zorilow's Avatar
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    101. you still think Rock & Roll exist...
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  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJKeyWee View Post
    101. you still think Rock & Roll exist...
    but Elvis is not dead, he's just taking a break lol
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  6. #6
    Tech Guru Steve Zorilow's Avatar
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    yeah I know... and Skrillex is something I wash my windows with
    Steve Zorilow: Facebook - Soundcloud - Mixcloud - Twitter

  7. #7
    Tech Wizard
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    Quote Originally Posted by IrishBlaggard View Post
    58. If it isn't hip hop you just call it techno.
    This

  8. #8
    Tech Guru basspenetrator's Avatar
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    nice list..

    last friday somebody came to may and said.

    "don't play dubstep, play something with... joy"
    Setup: TP 2, VCI-400 EGE, MF3D, MF Classic, DIY-Midifighter, iPad 2, Aiaiai Tma-1 // Launchpad, Ecler Smac32, 2 CDJ900, Presonus Firebox, KRK Rokit 8 //
    soundcloud
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    formerly know as weltraumpapst

  9. #9
    Tech Guru 3heads's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by weltraumpapst View Post
    last friday somebody came to may and said.

    "don't play dubstep, play something with... joy"
    Sounds reasonable to me *scnr*
    13,3" MacBook (Late 2009) # 2x Technics 1210 # NI Audio 8 DJ # Ecler Nuo 2.0 # NI Traktor Kontrol X1 # Sennheiser HD-25
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  10. #10
    Tech Mentor lucasmanning's Avatar
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    i was djing at a rave in a forest, and this girl kept asking me to put on rnb, i told her to fuck off so quick lol
    CDJ 2000s + DJM 2000

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