[Article] No talent is required to perform EDM

[ThinkAboutIt]

By Michael Mann, July 4, 2012
Let’s just cut the shit for a minute and say it: electronic dance music is the stupidest music on the planet. It even has a fittingly dumb name, EDM, which makes me cringe every time I see it. More so than the acronym, though, the reason it sucks is because the amount of talent required to perform it is precisely none.

Case in point: Paris Hilton recently made her DJ debut in Brazil. She can’t give a competent on-screen blowjob—Christ, you just put it in your mouth and spin your head around like Linda Blair—but she sure can throw down Gotye remixes and Avicii tracks to big crowds. Hilton even pushed a few buttons and it looked like she knew what she was doing. The best part about the whole spectacle was how it showed that trotting out some attractive and vapid idiot with no qualifications to DJ, other than that they have a following, isn’t exclusively a Vancouver thing. (Hi, Mayor Gregor Robertson. I loved your set!)

At about the same time, one of the genre’s biggest stars, deadmau5, came forward and said what we’ve suspected all along: DJing is fucking easy and all the knob-turning that goes on at a “live” EDM show is a sham. The refreshingly candid man behind the mouse mask claims that if you’re remotely tech-savvy you could learn how to do his show in about an hour. It’s just pressing play and that’s all there is to it.

Surely this means the current dance-music craze is done. I mean, Paris is on the gravy train and deadmau5 said that all these $100-a-ticket arena shows are Milli Vanilli with excessive strobes. No, of course not. See, the fans of this stupid fucking music are fucking stupid too. They’re still lining up to slap down their hard-earned money from their dead-end jobs so they have somewhere to pop a couple pills and dance like no one is watching on a Saturday night.

Some will be quick to point out that producing dance music takes a lot of talent, as there’s no magic “make awesome dance track” button that you can push and then you’re done. However, if that’s the case, why does every damn song sound exactly the same? House, electro, dubstep, moombahton, and any other genres that are created this week and fall under the catchall term EDM aren’t something to get pretentious about. It’s dumb music to get fucked up to and nothing more. A four-on-the-floor beat with a sample of me furiously wanking it would make your typical E-tard lose their shit on the dance floor. Granted, I’m a screamer.

“What about my mixing?” you retort. I hate to break it to you but no one cares about that pretentious shit except chin-stroking nerds. Then there’s the ever-popular “Selecting the right track at the right time takes skill.” Because, clearly, scrolling through iTunes and finding a song that a room full of people tweaking on bath salts will enjoy requires a PhD in curatorial studies. I’ve seen a fucking jukebox rock a crowd better than 95 percent of the DJs out there. So no rolling your eyes at me the next time I request that song Rihanna did with Calvin Harris. It’s a party starter! That boring minimal-techno shit you fell in love with in Berlin won’t fly over here, you self-important Fleshlights.

As tempting as it may be, let’s not fault Paris, deadmau5, Avicii, Steve Aoki, or even Skrillex. Ripping off clueless rubes is smart business. And at least they’re giving them what they want: obnoxious party music in a dark room where they can get messed up. In a perfect con, the mark walks away not knowing they’ve been taken. I’m not falling for it, though. For $100 you should always demand more than mere knob-twiddling. Read into that statement however you like.

http://straight.com/article-724491/v...t-required-edm

What do you guys think about makes sense or pure hate?

[audiolive]

With all the whiz bang machines of today I'd say there is some truth to what has been said. However DJ's that know there records back to front and know how to mix with only a mixer and 2 decks are the real artists. There seems to be too many that rely on effects and all the other crap to jazz up there sets. It was never needed before and IMO it still is not required to fill a floor.

[Cook]

He's right, we should all just hang up our headphones now.

/sarcasm

He is kinda right though. you cant really name any point hes made that is wrong.

[DigitalDevil]

Terribly written to be taken seriously, but all true and mostly stuff that's already been pointed out a million times. I think the most important point anyone's made with these articles is pretty well summarized by "the fans of this stupid fucking music are fucking stupid too". Or, as another article put it - "you can’t expect a growing mass of EDM fans to want a rarified, occasionally difficult, protracted dance floor experience: They probably just want to buy the ticket, ride the LED-lit ride, and go home."

[loverocket]

I think a lot of this started when producers started to DJ. Back in 2001 I remember only true DJ's were playing at WMC. Now it's a bunch of music producers pretending to DJ. The average Joe can't tell the difference, but real dance music fans can sniff out the rats and it's finally being brought into the spotlight.

[zaplin]

so rock is all the same? what about jazz? ambient?
i mean...come on..being close minded can be the easiest thing in the world!
and why cant producers perform live? its the same like bands, maybe we should tell them they are all boring and all the same.
what if the world wants to listen to rihanna? so freakin what.
if it wasnt for edm , and technology and artists that ''are boring'' then im sure rihanna wouldnt have gone very far with her carreer..

dont feed the troll guys.

[backtothefront]

I personally feel this 'EDM' (awful term) explosion and resultant backlash is mainly a US based thing, as if the mainstream audience/press have suddenly discovered electronic music albeit an overtly commercial one. The fact that dance music has been bubbling along quite nicely in the underground for many years before doesn't seem to get a mention.

[deevey]

Is there any reason I (or anyone else) should even care about what this person has to say ?

Always amuses me when someone says "thats so easy" or "I could do that ..... if I wanted to"

At the end of the day people pay to see a Deadmau5/Steve Akoi<Insert other live EDM artists> show, BECAUSE its A SHOW not because he is or isn't playing "live"... its the whole package of lights , sound, visuals, music, lasers etc.

Now isn't this just the same as people go to see Britney Spears/Madonna/Kylie <insert artist> show BECAUSE its Britney/Madonna/Kylie the fact is that the majority of Solo/Group boy band/girlbands DO NOT sing live either and everyone knows it and has known for years.

Just like Mr Mau5 Said the entire live system is a gigantic redundancy - sure if you want to sing live as an artist you can - but you can bet your life that if your voice sounds like crap on the night your engineer will lower your mic volume and mix the recording instead.

So ... whats the big deal ?

[SherpaPsy]

Typical local "hip" journalist. I watched Orbital playing out Live last night on YouTube...it was friggin brilliant...I would gladly pay to see them play again, would I pay to see Skilless or David Forgetta - no bloody way...but lumping all EDM in one big nasty basket is pretty lame if you ask me, this fucktard of a writer is just as bad and talentless as Paris for jumping on the bash EDM bandwagon.

[rotebass]

No talent is required to write editorials

Let's just cut the shit for a minute, editorials are the stupidest writing on the planet. No talent required. Yadda yadda. Fucking expletives. Michael Mann sucking knobs. Fucking bath salts reference, because that makes me sound hip like a 4chan nerd. More fucking expletives, the more I swear the more valid my point must be. Read into that statement however you like.