Golden tip DvlsAdvct!
My laptop has 2 USB3 ports and 1 USB2 port, apparently only the USB2 port works without any issues. Now that I come to think of it, I recall having read somewhere that Intel is doing a shit job on USB3 drivers, looks like my Quest for The Holy Driver has just begun. Damnit.
Thanks for the help everyone, I'll post back with information for co-USB3-owners!
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