Humour: Things NOT to say while at a gig.

**jay2** · 08-03-2010, 02:25 AM

**GPS** · 08-03-2010, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by PartyMcFly

A few years ago at a downtown Orlando club we'll not identify by name, a certain DJ actually got on the mic to address his half-full dance floor at around midnight or so with this absolute classic call to action:

"Dance, you faggots."

I'd like to have seen a thought bubble over him for that one.

A couple of friends of mine once witnessed a Toronto DJ threatening the crowd with a 4-bar loop from Toxic (yes, the Britney hit) to dance or "THIS LOOP WON'T STOP".

Classic.

Wait....you are in gville?

**Whitey** · 08-03-2010, 10:45 AM

Two true experiences that will go in the chapter 'Gay functions I have Done' - when I write my memoirs.

One of these worked and one didn't.

I was DJ'ing at a gay wedding - it was time to start the evening and about 75% of the guests were gay couple friends of the happy couple.

I started spouting some stuff over the mic and said 'it's time to start the evening in a traditional manner with a first dance for the groom and .....er groom'.

This was well recieved unlike a comment I made at another function, again attended by a majority gay crowd organised as a surprise by a woman for her partner.

I again started the evening by putting my size 10's in it, but saying 'Welcome to (name of the woman's) special night, before I go any further I'd just like to say that the guy standing behind me is in fact my Dad' :eek:

A favourite I heard a DJ once say to a crowd of people that just wouldn't dance no matter how hard he tried.

'Listen....Everyone sitting down now - I want you to all join hands and we are going to see if we can contact the living'

**GPS** · 08-04-2010, 10:23 AM

Originally Posted by jay2

our counter-attack: Go to a death metal rock show and say "hey, are they only going to play classic rock?"

**keithace** · 08-04-2010, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by jay2

classic...

**DvlsAdvct** · 08-04-2010, 12:55 PM

Check this one out

**Karlos Santos** · 08-04-2010, 01:21 PM

^^^^^^^

" WHY DID YOU FEEL YOU HAD TO COME UP AND COACH ME ON WHAT TO DO? "

Classic... Stupid girl telling Kid Capri what to play.

**filespnr** · 08-04-2010, 01:23 PM

this chick said to me, "can you play something I know from the radio?"

I said, "No, but that thing in the dash of your car can. Why don't you go out there and try it out?"