Ableton Live's "Warp" alternative?

[photojojo]

(You'll have to excuse me if my tone sounds overly apologetic, I have become accustomed to extraordinarily unhelpful internet communities where the attitude generally runs in the direction of "if you don't already posses my highly specialized knowledge, then you are obviously an idiot and I am not going to help you learn.")

Thanks in advance for any help or any attempts to that end.

Haha, we try to avoid stuff like that here. Welcome to the forums!

Haha, yeah welcome to the home of the nice DJ's.