my opinion: you worry too much.
to me, it seems like you've done enough research to make a somewhat competent decision regarding the gear you are going to use, but you're holding yourself back by worrying about the wrong things.
you have a clearly set goal. you know what the technological possibilities are. why do you care what other DJs will think about you? why do you care about bookers? the only thing that matters is that you do the things that make you happy; I'd call it "a healthy dose of ego(centr)ism". play the music you love, the way you love it, and only that. adapting to other people's expectations isn't going to get you anywhere, just focus on doing what you need to get the sound you want and be authentic in what you do.
there's a ton of DJs out there nowadays, but you don't have to be an über-skilled tech nerd to make yourself stick out from the crowd. you don't have to chop up tracks and remix them on the fly to play a good set. you can, but it's much more important to feel the crowd and give them exactly what they want; in the next step, you can try giving them something they didn't yet know they wanted and make them want more of it. track selection is key and you can do that with an ipod if you want. going the S4/ableton route is fun, but way overkill when you're just starting out. DJing is definitely evolving, but don't try setting new standards before you've grasped the basics. you can get an S4 now, but if you don't know how to take advantage of its functionality, don't bother because the next shiny toy will be out before you've mastered it. most of us are gear sluts, but upgrading to hardcore equipment only makes sense when you have gained enough experience to know exactly what you want to get out of it.
for now, just do your thing, be cool to people and stuff will come to you naturally. networking and putting out content is much more important than technique. there is a lot of stuff you can't learn in your bedroom - I've seen a lot of technically excellent DJs waste their talent because they didn't invest time in getting people's attention. I'm one of them, actually; turns out there's a lot of stuff I'm pretty good at, but my perfectionism has been holding me back for a couple of years. if there's a lesson I've learned, it's this: no matter how good you are, nothing's gonna happen if you just sit on your ass and wait. go to parties. talk to people. hand out mixes occasionally. don't be obtrusive, but be present. you'll end up playing out before you know it and it doesn't matter whether you'll be using CDs, vinyl or controllers. use whatever you're comfortable with - if you end up using some weird combination of gear, you'll have to bring it with you anyway. don't worry about that, it's become commonplace.
regarding producing... I think it would be best if you focused on one thing at a time. the game has changed. there's a lot of young producers out there, almost as many as DJs, but most of them suck really bad because they're trying to imitate stuff that already exists. only a very small percentage of them can be called "artists". in my opinion, if you want to be a good producer, you have to become a good DJ first. getting to know how crowds work and finding your unique sound takes time, but it's the foundation of your style as a producer. a couple of kickass tunes is better than a ton of shitty ones that people will forget a month after the release date
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