Here’s something Ive always done but never really thought much about. Whenever I see a post complaining about a product/feature that they can’t get to work/understand that’s pretty basic. Rather than try to wrap my head around how they managed to screw it up/how they don’t see it’s use, I just pretend they spin some really obscure style and add that to the end of their post.
Eg:
“Trakor’s beat gridding is USELESS! It never works for me, even if I adjust it! I spin Afro-Brazillian funk breaks played back in reverse, it really shouldn’t have a problem!”
“I just don’t understand the use of effects units, they really have no point. I mix Russian and Finnish RnB over smooth jazz for a retirement home, so I think my style accurately reflects DJs as a whole.”
“Fucking BPM readouts on CDJs don’t do anything! They literally don’t show anything close to the actual BPM value, to be fair, the music I spin doesnt have a ‘beat’ per se, the tempo is generated by the elevation of the listener’s heartbeat, but I’m still convinced it’s Pioneer’s fault and the technology doesn’t work.”
I wonder how many situations are actually accurate?
Make sure you put something in there about “X controller sucks because I can’t cue in my headphones” ->needs soundcard because controller has no jack. If you only hear what’s coming out of the speakers in your phones, switch the 2 around, and put your laptop on top of the speaker. The latency is off by 9 s.
I found a review on Amazon for the M-Audio Keystation ES61 (I think) yesterday where the guy rated this USB midi-only keyboard a 1 star because he “couldn’t get it to play any sounds” and his son, whom the gift was for, “couldn’t get it to work even though he’s very good with technology.” People love to blame technology for their own inadequacies and of course there is no way it could possibly be user error. It’s a phenomenon that’s always amused me. He went on to say that it’s not sitting gathering dust in his closet and even after users tried to help him in the review comments section he just replied with, “Okay! I get it! I didn’t know how to use it! Leave me alone” (I’m paraphrasing). Ignorance is bliss, they say.
The premise of this thread is very similar to a book I’m writing. It’s a book of “mixed metaphors” One phrase per page, for instance, “When in Rome do as the Romanians do.” or “It ain’t Rocket Surgery” I’ve been compiling these for years.
