Male vs Female at the cash machine

Male vs Female at the cash machine

It made me laugh but made my wife belt me! :roll_eyes::smiley:

MALE V FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE

A new sign in the bank reads:

'Please note that this bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.’


MALE PROCEDURE:

  1. Drive up to the cash machine.

  2. LOWER your car window.

  3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

  4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

  5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

  6. Raise window.

  7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE:

(Unfortunately, most of this is the Truth!)

  1. Drive up to cash machine.

  2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

  3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

  4. Find handbag, empty all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

  5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

  6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

  7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

  8. Insert card.

  9. Re-insert card the right way.

  10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

  11. Enter PIN .

  12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

  13. Enter amount of cash required.

  14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

  15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

  16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

  17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

  18. Re-check makeup.

  19. Drive forward 2 feet.

  20. Reverse back to cash machine.

  21. Retrieve card.

  22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

  23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

  24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

  25. Redial person on mobile phone.

  26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

  27. Release Hand Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE LADIES YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

Yeah. Totally. I hate women. Why are they so stupid?

That is exactly the same procedure used here in the U.S. also haha

Sexist crap.

No, it’s a joke :slight_smile:

^^^ this

About as funny as haemorrhoids.

What is it with people saying it’s sexist?

It’s a joke, it’s not meant to be serious.:roll_eyes:

If you don’t think it’s funny, fine, but don’t say it’s sexist - IT’S A JOKE!

If you look at most jokes they’re likely to be sexist, ageist, racist, nationalist etc,etc.

Blimey, take a look at this thread…

http://216.157.25.179/forum/showthread.php?t=29579

Now that is what you might call sexist if you are that way inclined. :roll_eyes:

Its a forum full of hairy palmed virgin teenage boys, of course yer gonna get sexist threads, they know no better.
Anyhow sexist /racist / ageist / fatist/ anorexiaist/ gingerist jokes are excusable. But the keyword here is Joke.
It needs to have an element of humour to be able to carry off the rampant prejudicial bigotry

Like I said, if you don’t find it funny that’s fine, but it’s not sexist it’s a joke.

What one person finds funny, another may not - that’s life.

But it IS sexist… Or do you actually believe that stereotype?
I suppose no bloke ever crashes a car, all blokes can accurately park equidistant between white lines, no bloke carries shit in his pocket or wallet where he keeps his cash card Etcetera etcetera etcetera…
Any how, keep up, your just confirming your ignorance with every post, mate..

Oh, and it still aint funny

Err, how many times do I have to say it…

It’s a joke! Agreed if I actually believed that stereotype then it would be sexist.

Whether you find it funny is another thing.

Why am I confirming my ignorance? Explain what you mean…mate.

If we get that politically correct about jokes there won’t be many jokes left to tell will there?

No reply U-31?

I’m disappointed. I was hoping you were going to school me on why I apparently keep confirming my ignorance.

I presume you are male and are just sticking up for so called sexism rather than seeing it as the joke it was meant to be.

Are you saying that if some people don’t find something funny then it will be classed as sexism, racism etc?

I presume you do given your comment…

“it needs to have an element of humour to be able to carry off the rampant prejudicial bigotry”

If that’s the case, all joke telling will cease to exist, as there will always be somebody, somewhere, that won’t find a joke funny and will read into it something that was not meant to be inferred.

Why on earth Should I deign to lecture you on morality?
I’d wager the constant defence of the stance you have posed in this thread is evidence enough of the entrenched conclusion you have drawn on the matter?

And in small words for the hard of thinking.. Never argue with an idiot, they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience… :wink:

It’s so easy to trot out tripe like that rather than actually defend your accusation that I am sexist.

I’m not “entrenched” in any conclusion. Rather, I take great offence to you either calling me, or inferring that I am, sexist.

You don’t know me or my background to have any basis for that.

I am amused by your so called “moral majority/politically correct” stance on this though.

Why? Well not too many posts ago you wrote this…

A little contradictory and hypocritical given your posts on this subject don’t you think?

Why do you find it funny? Do you find it funny because you have never felt the same way, or is it because you feel the EXACT SAME WAY? Is humor rooted in pure fantasy, or does all humor contain elements as “truth” (here truth is used in a relative sense, a more accurate term would be "belief)? You find this funny because you relate to it. Its not a matter of whether or not its funny (its not, but that’s another matter entirely) its a matter of whether or not it is based on a stereotype (it is, one that you clearly beleive in.) If it was a joke and NOT SERIOUS AT ALL (as you claim) then why is it based so blatantly on a stereotype of the typical ditzy woman?

“Pull up to cash machine, what’s the deal with airline food?”

In this day and age, many, many jokes are based around some form of stereotype.

Irish people are thick, Jews are stingy, blondes are dizzy etc,etc.

To find a joke funny does not mean you have to believe in that stereotype at all. It’s a joke.

Seriously, there are very few jokes around these days that are not based on some form of stereotyping.

If it has got to the point where one can’t discriminate between a joke and something that is genuinely meant to offend then it is a sad world we are living in.

My wife is sitting here laughing her head off at this thread now as she knows me.

Mind you, she is a blonde, so maybe she is so dizzy she doesn’t understand what’s going on! :roll_eyes: :wink: :slight_smile:

Look mate, face it, if you find posting sexist jokes acceptable, you are by definition, Sexist.
What is so hard to understand?

I still stand by my statement that you cherry picked, above - it would appear i am taking offence at something that DOES concern me.. I, when i last looked at least, have a sexual gender, therefore sexist remarks that are designed to falsely stereotype one half of the sexual gender, i find those remarks offend me and my sensibility.
It’s not finding offence on behalf of others, i find your remarks offensive to me.

And i certainly aint telling you to desist from said behaviour, remove the post or apologise, i’m merely pointing out that your remarks are sexist in nature.

Something i am not alone in noticing on this thread, but despite this, despite people pointing out your error, which MAY be an abberation for all we know, and totally against your nature - but for the purposes of this thread, it was still indeed sexist.

Weednirvana, a joke is usually designed to provoke an empathic reaction…
The person listening draws parallels in their own experiences