Warning: Do not Upgrade!

Off-Topic / Lounge
1

Warning: Do not Upgrade!

WARNING: DON’T UPGRADE YOUR GF TO WIFE

Dear Tech Support Team,
… …
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
… …
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3 , PlayBall 5.0 , BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the ‘uninstall’ doesn’t work on Wife 1.0 .

Please help!

Thanks,

“A Troubled User”

REPLY: Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support).

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software Dresses 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0.

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system and to your computer as well…

:stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :wink:

2

HAHAHA

You gotta watch this then

3

+1. Great information, but too late. Already upgraded.

4

I needed this info like this time last year :smiley:

Im pretty happy with the stability of the software though. it is consistent to say the least :eek:

looks over shoulder to make sure wife 1.0 is nowhere to be seen :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Can’t live with them.
Can’t live without them.

6

i uninstalled girlfriend 5.0 when it decided to have issues with surrounded by women every night 2.2, even though that and im a dj and i work in a fucking nightclub 3.1.2 were already installed

7

Cant go wrong with Hand 1.5 .

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http://early-onset-of-night.tumblr.com/post/13348728615/tattoo-artist-ryan-fitzgerald-from-dayton-oh-was

9

Haha!!

This just cheered my Tuesday up! I’m running girlfriend3.0 and do not look to advance any time soon.. But symptoms of wife1.0 appear to be pre installed which i think could work out nasty in the long run.

10

HAHA just brightened my day up no end!! :smiley:

11

hand 1.1. was a bit sketchy but the updates until then where awsome. i´m using hand 5.2.3 at the moment and i think i won´t upgrade in the next few months. though it seems like dating girls 3.4. is going to be released tonight so i maybe adding that to my apps

12

What about dual booting? I’ve never tried it and am scared the systems might somehow interact causing everything to come crashing down. Plus it just doesn’t feel right.

13

Dual booting would be ok as long as that these programs and applications are installed:

Uncommitted 2.4.1
Condom Supremacy 2.0
Cheat detector blocker - enabled

Plus performance will boost when Ultra Foreplay is updated from 1.5 to 1.7.

Lastly, don’t use programs from Microsoft & Windows. Use Megahard programs instead. Peephole 8 OS works better.

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

14

I only upgraded because in included the very reliable virus free sex browser.

Has ran pretty well for me so far.

15

lmao this was hilarious

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HAHA hilarious!

18

so here is the deal.
as i already said i´m using hand 5.2.3. right now which is cool but i feel i should take a more advenced route. thing is that i´m having a hard time to decide whether to go with “hand - the kamasutra edition” from handobe or to go with the new “errektor” from native handstruments.
i know that “errektor” has a lot of cool new features like the lube squisher and stuff but do you think it is worth the money?
also if i´d decide to take the “errektor” route. do i purchase “errektor pro” or “errektor stretch pro”?
sorry for beeing such a noob.

19

Why not try FUBU 1.0 instead. It will save you the trouble of trying so many other programs. Although FUBU 1.0 is still under beta testing, no glitches or errors have been found yet. Testimonials from users are all positive so far. :smiley:

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fixed