Not too shabby. I like the lyrics, but vocals seem a little robotic in their cadence. It makes it feel a little retro to me, but maybe that’s what you were after.
I’m personally only the vocalist. I have a project called: “Project Vacapella” where I release acapellas regularly and people like Tim Aviss above can download any of them and make their own song.
Some of the songs, I release myself and this was one of them!
I think you are right about the cadence part. That Vacapella is getting a year and a half old now and I’m constantly improving. I try to rap in how I think the beat needs it. So those vocals were rapped on a straight house beat so that could maybe be the cause of it’s monotony in terms of cadence!