Sounds like you’re sitting at home thinking about it when you should be going out regularly, dancing like a goon when it feels good and just soaking it all up. Then spend your spare time listening to mixes and just working on your chops.
You’re a musician, it’s like saying ‘what makes so-and-so pianist great?’.
Don’t get much opportunity to do that these days.. my disco days are few and far between, I far rather prefer to play the tunes..
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IMHO a DJ does this
I think everything has been said well so far, it’s really good that you are interested as a start.
First port of call is definitely the music, make sure you find what you love. I think a lot of people these days see DJing and think they want a slice of the action but don’t really love the music. Maybe they go out and find stuff that’s popular (be it on a large scale or on the underground side of things) and put it together in a way that sort of works but maybe doesn’t have their soul in it. I always think you can tell when this is the case.
The more you love it, the easier it comes, I have no doubt.
The more you trawl for music you love, the more you will find the DJ’s who are playing it. Watch videos of them DJing, note the transitions they use and how they use the song to shape the mix. Listen back to your music and see what you think you would do.
This love of the music is usually what will make people come back and watch/listen to you over and over again (live or in the mixes you put out). It’s also what makes us continually want to improve as DJs, use new tech, apply new techniques which in turn makes everyone love it more so it really is cyclical.
OP, actually I don’t know what the original question really is, maybe you don’t.
forget guides, DJing is like any language, find a friend or someone to learn the basics from then just play and play, build a vocabulary of tunes you vibe with and make it your own - only way you’ll enjoy it and that’s the only way anyone else will ever enjoy it. There’s a difference between playing music and playing the music.